severedmind's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Long But Short Update From Texas A Perfect Circle-Outsider So its been quite sometime since I last updated this thing so I figured since I have nothing else better to do today what the hell I might as well update it and let everyone know whats been going on with me. As a lot of you prolly already know I moved to texas to do something with my life as my mom would call it so right now im living with my uncle,aunt, and my cousins. My uncle lives on the coast which is cool in many ways but then again it has its downfalls. I get to go to the beach alot and work on my so called tan ha and plus there is a lot more stuff to do here there is actually a mall and I dont live that far away from houston and there is always kik ass bands that go to houston to. Not as cool as vegas but what more can I ask for. Since I moved here Ive taken my ged test which I wont find out the results for atleast 4 to 6 weeks why it takes so Long I have no idea but im hoping that I passed cause I sure as hell dont wanna pay 10 dollars for each test that I fuckt up on. Another benefit of livin here is that I actually get paid to do shit around the house so atleast I get money to go places and actually get treated like an adult instead of a kid.
My summer has been cool Ive been to the movies quite a bit and to the mall went and chilled with some of my cousins friends and met some really cool people. Ive actually been able to be myself and not get into trouble for it which is cool too and I dont constantly have someone bitching at me but I do miss my family back at home which is normal but my mom is comin out here this month to visit so I can live with that. She might be moving out here she just has to wait to find out if they are going to let them transfer their jobs to lake jackson texas. Ive been through a lot though lately my mind has been going in millions of directions as of late Im really missing zack as much shit that he has put me through in the last month that I have been here I still care for him and the feelings are not going away. I love him so much but right now he is in a very bad place and doing really bad things that affect his state of mind and his health I dont know what to do about him all I know is that as long as he is he way he is I cant be with him. I still occasionally talk to him every now and then I dont know why I still call him it makes me feel worse afterwards but when im on the phone with him I get some sort of happiness even though sometimes he is being an asshole. I just wish he would change but I cant make him he has to do it for himself im not his mom and Its not my place to say anything to him. But in spite of all the depression I have been feeling Im somewhat happy due to the fact that I am going to see kottonmouth kings on july ninth even though its my uncles birthday he still wants me to go and have a good time This band has trully made an impact on my life even though most people associate kottonmouth kings with marijuana and they think all they are about is pot but in all reality its not they are freedom fighters and peace bringers Ive never felt so much joy in my life at one time as I have at a kmk show. I cant wait to see them again they put on a totally kik ass concert I am going with my cousins girlfriends brother he is 17 so that is cool that he is going to take me along with him. Last night was my lil cousins birthday she turned 7 I was happy for her but didnt have a good day yesterday my state of mind is just not the same anymore I feel like im all alone and have no one to talk to but a computer based program that cant respond such as this thing. I dont talk to my friends back home as much but though I do think of them everyday that goes by and I find myself constantly looking at pictures of old times reminicing in those days that I wish I could go back to. I dont know if they feel the same but atleast I know that I do. Im trying to use this time in texas as a vacation but even though Im trying to have a good time Im still down in the dumps I felt alright when I first started my paxil but now its like its not even working anymore. Im supposed to go apply for a receptionist job at the vetanarian clinic which is cool because Ill be in an area surrounded by people and animals and I get along with mostly all people unless they are just hypocrital assholes with nothing better to do than base judgement on me. Im just hoping things will get better for me and Ill find my place in life. I guess this time can be usefull for thinking and trying to sort my life out I dunno Im just rambling on wasting space but I shall go for now and will update later until next time Ill stay DOWN 4 THA KROWN Spittin K-I-N-G 4 L-I-F-E Kottonmouth KIngs for life Cant Wait till July 9th! 2:58 p.m. - 2004-06-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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