severedmind's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To Your Advantage... Luniz-I got five on it "Why Play Games?,they are a waste of time!" "I could take every fucking game you played and blow it away!" I thought I actually met a decent guy but I didnt once again I've been hurt. It pisses me off that you played those games with me to just try to see how far you could go. I dont know why guys do the things they do, why they hurt me the way they do is it because I am an easy target? I never thought that once again I would be hurt and in the worst way. I had feelings for you but you used them to your advantage and then ignored me. You never call me You never return my messages I thought we had something but I was blind to what you could do. I am not chasing you! Im not your shadow or your puppy dog if you want me you can call me because Im not calling you and I haven't. The biggest problem of all is that I still have feelings for you maybe its because I am stupid but who knows. I know you will never read this which is ok thats why they make these things. Things started off great but look where they are now. I replay that night over and over in my head the way you kissed me the way you touched me the things you said to me! I thought you were being sincere. But enough of these games I will not play them with you no more its not fair to me. Im not like the other girlfriends you have had I would not go out and cheat on you or any of that stuff they have done to you. Im the most sincere person you will ever meet and you took advantage of that. But enough about this im done! Lately things have been confusing for me but I havent dwelled on it thanks in part to paxil which makes me feel better and stops me from stressing too much and dwelling. Ive been doing a lot of things to improve myself which atleast brings up my self esteem. Saturday I hung out with dena and crystal geeze I love those girls they are so funny but anywho we went to the salvation army then to mcdonalds and afterwards we went to the skate park to swing on the swings it was fun I had a good time with them they always have a way of making me laugh. I was going to spend the night with dena but her mom went out with her dad on a so called date and they wanted the house to theirselves that night which is cool because I will be able to spend the night another time. I was supposed to go register for my ged test today but I cant because my mom and scott are out of town for walmart they asked them if they would go to vegas and help remodel a new store so they took the job. Walmart is paying for their hotel and food which is cool. I havent really been up to much this week just downloading music the normal life of mine. I am supposed to go stay in vegas next friday because my grandma comes the 3rd of april which is next saturday and I am going with my mom to pick her up because scott has traffic school for speeding hahah I told you not to speed! I went to mental health yesterday which is always enjoyable atleast I got to get out of the house which was good. Even thought I was going to counseling. Right now they are playing that lame ass lost prophets song on fuse I swear its like thats the only video that ever gets played its annoying to hear it fifty million times a day I have yet to see the New APC video I heard that its not like their other videos so I dunno Ill judge it when I see it. I cant wait for kmk to come back to town Im supposed to go see FATA,Atreyu,The Beautiful mistake,and some other bands next month at the huntridge with dena so that will be fun. Other than that things are the same as they always are But Im out for now and will update later! 12:04 p.m. - 2004-03-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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