severedmind's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Slightly Bruised and Broken The Used:Buried Myself Alive I dont know what to say I have officially given up on a lot of things especially guys because they have to be one of the most confusing creatures ever put on this planet I would most likely get further talkin to myself. I try and try and it gets me nowhere Im tired of being alone and its crazy I miss my friends back home and all I want is someone that I can talk to and someone that will confort me and someone who will be there when I need it but unfortunelty it looks like that will never happen. Yesterday I found out from a very suprising source that eric had a gf which is weird becuase I never see him around with anyone so I guess this is a new relationship but although he continues to flirt with me and joke around and say stupid shit like today on the bus. Then today I was walkin with nikki and we seen eric and his new gf holdin hands they were walkin in front of us and then nikki blurts out really loudly shes so fuckin ugly omg why is he with her? I found that a little embarassing on my part because its not always about the looks but thats how it sorta is here. I dont know what to do I dont know if I should just give up or still hang in there a little bit and seem slighlty interested just in case if something were to happen. Hes constantly sittin near me or next to me and constantly messin around with me and saying stupid stuff and his little brother sat with me today and asked me some odd questions. Then Eric was like purring like one of those damn furbys that everyone used to be in love with and raising his eyebrows at me then he asked me if I thought he was cuddley. Sometimes I just think he likes the attention and thats all I am used for is someone to make him feel good. Another thing he asked me if he was beautiful I dont know about him. Well Hopefully I will be getttin a yearbook tomorrow there like fifty dollars though but there pimp as shit they were sellin them today. I dont know whats up with me lately,Im trying to get my shit straight and I really want to stay in school and all but im not going to pass this year unless i go to five weeks of summer school and get my community service paper signed which I have already done. But then that means Ill have to go see my friends in july and stay until the end of the summer, I just dont want to let anyone down especially myself I mean I dont want to be a damn sophmore again next year and then be put behind another year what the hell is my life comin to? Even I cant answer that question, which is really bad. What do I do with myself aaaahhhhh....its like gettin so stressfull its not even funny but I am going to have to make a choice on what is the best thing for me. Ive always had the goal of graduating highschool I mean those are supposed to be the best days of your life is your highschool years and I dont want to have to have kids and have to tell them that i never finished high school and all that shit. well I think I will go for now this weekend shall be interesting considering that I will once again be babysittin my bro and sis while my mom stays in laughlin for the weekend! Well I shall be going now ill update later love Shortbus 3:21 p.m. - 2003-04-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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