severedmind's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Life N times Of short Bus Its been a few days since I written in this thingy so I decided I needed to update you of all the Newest and Bestest News that goes on in my Life well Yesterday I didnt go to school cause I was sick and didnt feel good but still ended up helpin my mom and her bf move stuff out of the house. Not much happened yesterday it was sorta a dull day....But on to today I went to school today and guess what mY poodle was there I was so happy to see her there...it was just another normal day at school you know go to class then finally break comes then off to class today I got my spongebob overalls back from emily there are so Cute!!! Im going to wear them tomorrow well finally lunch came and oh the drama we were back there chillen doing our normal thing gettin some conversation goin and gettin our ciggarette and then the stupid cop comes back there and tries to bust people for smokin and then has the nerve to ask if we knew the kids name ok that is smart like were going to bust someone for smokin and we do the same damn thing I swear people can be so retarded...I swear everyday they get stupider now I know that is not a word but still I can say it and as long as I know that its not a real word well at least I dont think it is but anyways..on to better things I went and got my hair rehighlighted today sounds like fun and you will never believe who I seen...I was sittin there waiting for chris mom to finish the other gurls hair and all of a sudden I seen my friend butter I havent seen him in so long hes doing so good too hes got his own place now and has a job he looks a lot better. He made my day today I have been wonderin where that kid has been hes one of those people that have made an impact on my life I love him to death like he was my brother. Ill never forget that kid no matter what!I cant explain the way he makes me feel. It sucks cause Im movin and Im not going to be able to chill with him as much as I would like but I invited him to my sleepover and gave him my number I am hopin he calls me and comes over friday it would be so cool. I remember when I first met the kid its just like it was yesterday he was wearing his big pants and blue and white shirt I remember michelle sayin how cute he was and stuff but I didnt like butter that way I dont know I just didnt...But now I dont know I think Im startin to fall for the kid which isnt a good thing cause I am movin in like 16 days and now he has a gf I met her today I dont know what it is about him I guess he is just one of those people that is hard to not fall for..I didnt realize this until today when he hugged me and I actually got to sit down and talk to him after its been so long..I finally noticed how pretty his eyes was he has them eyes that when you look into them you dont want to turn back its just amazing...I dont know whats going on with me lately I hate the fact that I am leavin but I have to look ahead of that I just want to be happy and it seems like I cant find no one that makes me happy..Im so scared of relationships now because of being hurt before but I know I have to get over that.Fr a while I felt cold inside I didnt know what I wanted I would go from likin one guy to the next every week maybe it was because I wanted someone who would like me for me and not just want me for sex..I just wanted some attention but now I just want someone I can hold and cuddle with and do all the gf bf things with I miss that so much I used to have that but then I gave it Up Im not regrettin what I did by breakin up with james I needed to do that for personal reasons I wanted to go out and see other people he was the first person I had been with I needed other expierences or I wouldnt be happy with myself and Now im here happy with my friends but as far as love life goes Im not happy I see all my friends with there bfs and gfs and I feel left out I dont have no one...Im so lonely at times its not funny. One thing I do hope for is when I move to arizona I will find someone who will make me happy and like me for me and accept me for me..I know I can be so damn confusing at times and not even know what I want half of the time but if you go beyond that I am a really nice person and I care for people so much I just have to watch myself cause I dont want to be hurt again which I know will happen cause things cant be perfect especially for me...but as far as other things go I dont have no clue imso stressed out lately I think I just need to relax and take a deep breath..I hope all goes well for me and for all my friends and I really hope that butter is going to do well in the future and now as far as the present goes he is a really good kid and I dont want him to fuck around and kill himself cause If I get a call sayin that kid is dead I dont know what ill do! Well that ends it for today kids Ill be back to update later but as for Now Ima go and do some other stuff like Homework that was been needed to be done Laterz... 6:28 p.m. - 2003-01-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||